Disclaimer: Paramount, all mighty ruler of the universe.

Making it to her quarters, she sank down the wall in relief, hearing the door quietly slide shut beside her. That had been close, too close. She knew it had been a mistake to let Gerron convince her to have breakfast with him. And then running into Chakotay like that, God she’d made such a fool of herself. But at least she was safe now. She didn’t know why she worried so much about it, it had been 5 years nearly 6 years now, and she’d changed so much. But she didn’t want to risk it no matter how much it hurt. She could never let her know.

Chakotay looked up from his padd as the door beeped.

"Come in", a nervous looking ensign O’Donnell walked hesitantly in. He smiled warmly at her and gestured to the chair opposite him across the desk.

"Take a seat ensign." She nodded jerkily and sat down quickly.

"Did I do something wrong?" She asked.

"Of course not." Chakotay answered.

"I just wanted to see how you were getting on. We haven’t spoken in a while." He chuckled slightly.

"If I were a more paranoid person I might think you’ve been avoiding me." A flash of indignation crossed her face.

"If I were a more paranoid person I might think the same!" She replied swiftly, then realising what she had said immediately looked contrite.

"Sorry." He just smiled gently at her.

"What’s going on Justine? You are like a ghost." Her eyes were on her shoes but she looked up at him.

"Is that your way of telling me I look ill?" He stared at her.

"No it means that we never see you anymore. The only people who seem aware of your existence are the ones in your section in engineering, and all they could say about you was that you did your job and you were quiet. Lieutenant Torres wasn’t even sure of who you were." That frightened look appeared in her eyes again.

"You’ve been talking to people about me? Who have you talked to? You had no right. There’s nothing wrong, I'm just a quiet person that’s all, there’s nothing wrong with that." She jumped up as if about to leave.

"Sit down!" He barked. She sat. Chakotay sighed deeply.

"I realise that all of this must have been hard for you and I understand that you must be missing your family and feeling alone. But you’re not. I’m here for you; your friends are here for you. You don’t need to keep everything to yourself. Don’t be afraid to come and talk to me about anything." She stood up her hands clenched to her side.

"You don’t understand anything!" She hissed through her teeth and with that she turned and quickly turned to the door. Chakotay rose to call after but the door was already sliding shut.

"Dammit." He muttered, slumping back down into the chair. He ran his fingers through his short hair. He tapped his comm-badge.

"And you have no idea what is wrong with her?" Asked Kathryn as she handed him a mug of coffee. Chakotay shook his head at a loss.

"She got so jumpy and bolted right after I said I had been asking people if they knew her." Kathryn looked thoughtful.

"You don’t think…" She paused and considered how to proceed tactfully.

"You don’t think she had anything to do with Seska do you?" He looked at her.

"Its ok to mention her name Kathryn. I can handle it. But as for O’Donnell, I don’t think so. I kept her away from people like Seska." He saw the look of surprise on her face.

"My relationship with Seska, if you can call it a relationship, was brief. I never really trusted her and I kept Justine as far away as possible from her. I wouldn’t want some like her exposed to someone as cynical as Seska." He sighed deeply.

"She just doesn’t, or at least didn’t strike me as someone who would betray her friends like that." He shrugged and looked despondent.

"But after the way she acted today." He looked lost for words spreading his hands. Kathryn sat down beside him putting her hand on his leg.

"Do you want me to talk to her? Maybe it is just that she’s having problems settling. A talk from her Captain might just do the trick." She smiled reassuringly at him. He looked frustratedly at her.

"I just feel so damn guilty. I should have been looking out for her." She looked at him slightly quizzically.

"You really care for this girl don’t you." He grimaced.

"For all that I’ve shown it." He sighed and rubbed his face.

"I’m nearly 50 Kathryn, the last few relationships I’ve had, even when I was in the Maquis, were short to say the least. She reminded me of how I was when I was 18, I guess I felt paternal. I may never have children of my own. You can’t tell me that sometimes you don’t feel that same." He looked up, Kathryn stood with her back to him, her shoulders hunched. She turned around slowly and painful smile on her face.

"Is that some comment on my age or on the state of my love life?" He gave a flight chuckle.

"My own I think." He set the cup down on a table beside the couch and stood up.

"Thanks for listening anyway." He rubbed his hand over her shoulders and then left. Kathryn starred after him a vague feeling of déjà vu teasing her senses